


Maria and the Six Dorks

by BoxFullofCats



Series: Hautboy Island [4]
Category: American Actor RPF, Jeremy Renner - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Hautboy Island, Men with pleasing faces need to stopped being named Chris, construction!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8455006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoxFullofCats/pseuds/BoxFullofCats
Summary: Eagle Harbor wasn't exactly a huge town. It was still a little odd that so many men with the first name of Christopher worked at one place, let alone were this pleasing to one's eye. One thing was certain, however, all four, yes four, of these men named Christopher were some of the biggest dorks she had ever met.





	

* * *

 

Eagle Harbor wasn't exactly a huge town. It was still a little odd that so many men with the first name of Christopher worked at one place, let alone were this pleasing to one's eye. One thing was certain, however, all four, yes four, of these men named Christopher were some of the biggest dorks she had ever met.

Hemsworth, though his size was misleading, was a big goofball. He and Evans made quite the comedic pair.

Pine like to see how many obscure or large words he could fit in a conversation for kicks.

Pratt was the master of sarcasm.

All four worked at Christmas Lumberyard, and they were cracking her up. Her cheeks were starting to hurt.

Many of the guests at Evans and Hemsworth’s party were people they worked with. She had actually met more than a few from visiting her house while they worked on it. It was nice not feeling like a fish out of water. Some people even recognized her from when she lived there as kid.

None seemed to entertain her like the Chrises had.

“That's when Pratt told the kid I was Santa,” Pine was explaining.

“I panicked! What was I supposed to say? That Santa wasn't real? That wasn't falling on my head, no way.” Pratt took a sip of his beer. “Besides, you ‘corrected’ me and told them you were actually Santa's son.”

“Anyway, that's how I came to run the Christmas tree lot and all the kids on the island think I'm Santa's son, or at least Santa Claus in training.”

Maria laughed, trying to picture Pine in a Santa suit selling Christmas trees. It helped her lady parts to not get so excited over the plethora of photogenic men if she reminded herself that many of them were huge dorks. Most of the time it backfired on her, as she seemed to find that highly appealing.

There was a lot of things she was learning about herself and what made her whistle blow recently.

Evans laughed at Pine’s summary and shook his head. “Its great really, we get to see at least one kid or parent each year yell at him because someone's hopes got too high.”

Pine shrugged, as if people yelling at him wasn't a big deal. “I have a policy now of not hearing Christmas wishes, as I don't want to confuse my old man.”

“You're a sucker though and you're still going to listen to the kids,” a new voice joined them a day took up a spot next to her. Maria turned to find Jeremy standing next to her.

Pine nodded, not even trying to argue.

Jeremy greeted his friends and colleagues, shaking their hands. He congratulated Evans and Hemsworth on their fifth year in business. Then he turned those cool blue eyes on Maria and she just about sank to the ground.

He looked rather good tonight. Not that he didn't look good all the time. He did. All the time. It was just nice seeing him in non-work clothes. Dark pants, nice black boots, a black sweater over a button down white shirt, topped off with a black leather jacket was vastly different than the stained jeans, mussed solid color shirt, with paint splattered boots.

He looked good in both, granted, but to Maria it was a rare sight to see him this cleaned up.

And she was staring. She blinked and looked away, wishing she had brought Lissa with her. Her cousin had to work, and wasn't available to save her drooling ass.

“Nice to see you too, Maria. How are you doing?” Jeremy said as he smiled at her. Oh, no. What did he say before that? She was too busy licking his neck in her mind.

Playing it safe she replied, “Grood.” after which she immediately wanted to crawl into a hole. Trying to play it off she laughed. “Wow, my brain tried to mash up great and good. I'm just going to silently go over here and admire these flowers and then expire.”

The four Chrises and Jeremy didn't get a chance to respond as she walked away, her face as red as a baboon’s ass. She also missed what ever Jeremy told Pratt and Pine. Evans and Hemsworth had heard some version of it a while ago. Not that it stopped them from doing what they wanted to. They just really like giving Jeremy a really hard time.

Much like Tom several weeks ago, Pratt and Pine held up their hands in acquiescence.

True to her word she went to look at the flowers she had mentioned. She was contemplating how to make a quick getaway without being seen when her escape was foiled before she could implement it.

“You're staring at those bush so hard, I think you're going to scare them.”

Maria mentally pulled up her big girl pants and turned around to see one more unfairly attractive man. This one possessed long brown hair, pulled back into a man bun, and scruff that looked like you could sand a two by four on. His clear blue eyes and crooked grin didn't help her one bit.

She'd need to check on her battery supplies when she got home.

“Just trying to decided if I want to die of embarrassment here or on the way home,” she told him.

If possible that crooked grin went up on one side even more. “Couldn't be any worse than your swing partner launching you into the crowd.”

Her eyebrows furrowed together. Swing dance. Last time she did swing dancing she was in eighth grade and and it was at a street fair, here at Eagle Harbor. One of the organizers made a big deal out of it because swing dancing was being taught in P.E. in both the junior high and high school. She had been asked to dance by one a sophomore boy, Sebastian Stan. Granted, it was because they were the only two left without partners their age. That was until Sebastian let go of her hand as he was spinning her out, just so he could partner with Tiffany Berg. She had been the most popular girl at Eagle Harbor High, regardless of her grade. When he let go of Maria's hand he sent her flying right into the on looking crowd. She took down a few of the younger kids with her and ended up running home crying.

Maria looked the man up and down, trying to reconcile the two images in her mind. “Sebastian?” she asked tentatively.

He gave her nice, wide smile in return. “You know, for at least two years I convinced myself that the reason you moved away was because of me.”

Her eyes widened at his admission and confirmation. “No! I mean, that was obviously wrong, but no! You can't be Sebastian! You're so...”

“Skinny?” he supplied.

Maria would never call Sebastian skinny. Built, muscular, or maybe he-with-an-amazing-bod if the way the v-neck navy t-shirt and dark sports coat fit his body was any indicator.

“I was going to go with taller. You have to be at least half a foot or more taller than me now!”

His eyes crinkled at the sides as he laughed. “Thank God puberty finally kicked in, right?”

They both laughed, remembering that the last time they saw each other he was only an inch or so taller than her.

“I hear you moved back.”

Maria nodded, “Yeah. My parents came back and I thought I'd follow them back. There was a health scare - turned out to a false alarm but I decided to move from Seattle to be closer to my parents. You know, just in case. What have you been up to?”

Sebastian shrugged and took a swig of beer from his bottle. “Not much. Graduated here, went off island for college, graduated there and instead of pursuing a career linked to my degree I decided to come back and run a repair shop.”

“I'd say you've been busy then.”

“Just a bit. What have you been up to these past, what, almost twenty years?”

Her eyes bulged. “Has it really been that long? Now I feel ancient.” Nervously she ran a hand through her hair. “Um, obviously I moved off island, then graduated high school, went to college. Dropped out of college because it got too expensive. Moved out of state and got a job at a furniture and home goods store. Eventually I became their manager. Quit after I won the lottery, travelled to Europe. Met and got engaged to an Italian prince, broke up with him, came home and then moved here after my parents did. Bought a house here, it caught on fire and now I'm living with my parents again.”

She delivered it with such a straight face that he was about take her fantastic tale as truth until he saw her lips twitch. “Ah, you almost got me. Most of that didn't happen.”

Maria couldn't help but laugh. “The part about college and my job was true. I didn't quit though, they closed my location and I got hire at another one of their stores in Seattle. I've never been to Europe and I haven't been engaged, but my house did catch on fire here. And yes, I am living with my parents again.”

“Sounds like quite the adventure in any case,” Jeremy said, joining them. “Hope you don't mind me butting in. I saw you leave your drink over there and thought I'd bring it over to you.”

He handed her the drink and she took it. Behind him she noticed Evans frantically waving his arms as if trying to get someone's attention. She looked around, once she determined it wasn't herself. She pointed Jeremy and he shook his head. She pointed to Sebastian and he nodded it enthusiastically.

“I think Chris over there needs you for something,” she told him.

Sebastian looked at at the bearded man, who was enthusiastically waving him over. “Probably wants me to settle a bet between him and Pratt. Or Anthony.” He said goodbye to Maria, with a promise to catch up later.

Which left just her and Jeremy.

“You know Sebastian?” Jeremy asked as he closely watched her reaction.

“We danced, we laugh, and then he literally tossed me into the crowd when a prettier girl came along,” Maria replied, nonchalantly.

The older man’s eyes flashed as he turned to glare at Sebastian’s back. “That asshole; were you okay? Why would he do that?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “No, I was like fourteen. He was probably sixteen. It was totally an error of youth. I did inadvertently gave him a guilt trip for a few years because he thought I moved away because of what he did. We're all good now. Now that I think about it, he never actually said he was sorry.”

He gave one more dirty look to Sebastian’s back before turning his attention back to her. “So not a childhood sweetheart, then?”

“Oh, no. Didn't really have any of those growing up,” Maria reassured him. Not unless anyone counted on her big ol’ crush on the neighbor's son, Jason. The guy was tall and had the loveliest brown eyes, wavy dark hair. He was always super nice to her, never treated her as an annoying kid. Wasn't really her sweetheart, but she may have doodled her name next to his more than once. Besides, he went off to college to be a marine biologist, from what she remembered.

There was that Irish kid, Aiden, though. She had briefly “dated” him when she was in 7th grade, he was in 8th. He was her first kiss. That's all she could really remember about him.

“And you're not dating anyone?” Jeremy asked.

The question completely threw her off. She blinked at him a few times in astonishment before answering, “No.”

Smiles like the one he gave her at her answer were enough to make her knees go weak.

“Then how about you and I go get dinner together, right now?” Jeremy held out his hand to her.

To say she was stunned was a bit of an understatement. It just wasn't everyday that a man who looked like he did asked her out. With a little nod she took his hand and felt his rough fingers wrap around hers.

On the way out she regained enough of her mind to set her drink down before leaving

Maria lost it all again when they made it out front and he brought her to a motorcycle. He hopped on and held out his hand once again, to help her on.

"Ready?” he asked.

Oh, she was so ready.

**Author's Note:**

> Threw in some more name mentions there. Did you catch them?


End file.
